Marijuana

This Mary Jane has been around for quite some time now and i have shared an intimate relationship with her, both during the day, the night. The morning/afternoon: fall, winter summer and spring. Weekends and weekdays alike for several years. Now at this point I can compare her to a loving wife. Like any other long term relationship of notable intimacy I have had my ups and downs, and I suppose the relationship has been quite one-sided at times. But I have truly come to respect my companion.
The long term negative effects a relationship can bring I can't say exist, unless you account for the undeniable mental re-construction that has occurred.
At times I have walked hand in hand with her and enjoyed my walk. There was nothing better than walking then... We would walk anywhere as long as we were holding hands. I must mention though... Before then, we had been forced together and it appeared as tho fate had some nasty things in store for us. But, that was all speculation and third-party influence. We were destined.
As we spent time with one another (specifically in private) we began to kindle a relationship that seemed purely beneficial to me. We saw no boundaries and we could crush any mountain with ease, we had an escape,a retreat to enclose our self in nearly whenever we felt necessary. And something that good can become necessary QUITE TOO often.
All of a sudden I felt as tho most of the negative projections I was making in life were caused by her (influence). I felt the insecurities and emotional distress and blamed it on the lengthy period I had spent in my escape. When she left me, the problems were accepted, I began to believe this negative mental structuralism was part of who I was. I started to believe that every reason i was shy, or distant, quiet, nervous, scared, insecure, or insufficient was just a part of ME. It was who I was all of a sudden, and I was comfortable knowing that. I would eventually adapt to my surroundings I thought. But, what if...
What if she could show me that escape for a time which would never end?
What if she was the key to a freedom that would not be revealed otherwise?
At this point, there was not much wrong with what I was doing. I knew my life, there were going to be some: ups and downs, ins and outs, cans and cant's. But what if all that seemed to slip away. What would be left there?
What if we were to once again engage in the lasting realm of freedom, what would be? Would she be able to teach me what I need to know?
Or,
would she only give me the ability to learn the path to the knowledge i seek.
Would she be the path to knowledge?
I'd hope her able to wash my sinful mind clean and allow me to re-write what has been carved in to the core.
So deeply carved that not even I can tell you its depth.
Because, I do not know. And I won't know without her.